


The Person You Most Care About

by camichats



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, First Kiss, Forbidden Love, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Parabatai Bond, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:08:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23994274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/camichats/pseuds/camichats
Summary: After Alec apologizes to Jace about the Memory Demon incident, Jace tells him that he understands, because he loves Alec too.
Relationships: Alec Lightwood/Jace Wayland
Kudos: 62





	The Person You Most Care About

Alec knew that it was stupid and dangerous. The problem with Jace is that he made every stupid, dangerous idea seem like it was worth the risk. So when Alec apologized to Jace for the incident with the memory demon, and Jace said that it didn't matter, that Alec loved him and he loved Alec just as much, it was everything Alec had ever wanted to hear. "But uh," Jace added on, glancing at the other Shadowhunters working in the area a few steps under them, "maybe we shouldn't talk about it here. C'mon, it's been a while since you hung out in my room." He clapped a hand on Alec's shoulder, and off they went. 

It was against the Law. Alec could've been de-runed for feeling that way about his parabatai even if he never acted on it. Jace could get de-runed for acknowledging it and saying that he felt the same. The smart thing to do would be to not talk about it until they were in Alec's room with the door safely locked, but hell, what was one more bad decision on top of what they'd already said? "Are you sure about this?" 

"Course I am, have you ever known me not to be?" 

"It's just, with Clary and everything that's been happening with her, you've been ignoring me. Izzy, too. You gotta admit, a sudden change of heart is pretty suspicious." 

"There's nothing sudden about it, Alec," Jace said easily, throwing a smirk over his shoulder. "It's called me not wanting to freak you out." 

"Right, cause you always hold back what you're thinking." 

Jace stopped walking, standing in front of him with an eyebrow raised. "Seriously? We're going to do this in the hallway? You're the most important thing in the world to me, Alec. I know that you freaked out with the demon, but if it had gotten over to me, it would've been a memory of you that it took, and that's not flattery or me sparing your feelings or whatever other crap you're worried it might be, it's the truth. Ever since I've met you, you have been the single most important person in my life." 

Alec just stared at him. Jace could admit that he liked Izzy. Isabelle was great, they gave each other compliments and gossiped about Downworlders. Jace told Max every time he saw him that he loved him, because Max was too young to understand that it was true even if someone didn't say it. Jace never said to their parents that he loved them, but Robert and Maryse weren't the declaration of love type of parents-- they barely even said it to Max, which would explain a few things about him deliberately causing trouble. Jace had even told Clary, in the whole week-- maybe week and a half?-- that he'd known her, that he cared about her well-being and helping her find her mother. Jace didn't tell Alec that he cared about him; he thought it was implicit, to the point that he shouldn't  _ have _ to say it. So yeah, it was suspicious as hell that all of a sudden he was saying it. "The last time you told you cared about me at all was when you were asking me to be your parabatai. And that's because I said no at first and you were trying to convince me." Even after Jace had said it, Alec had almost said no again. 

"I shouldn't have to say it," Jace defended, and Alec rolled his eyes, because yep, there it was. 

"Whatever. Let's just-" Alec motioned up the hallway, and they started walking again. Jace was noticeably more aggravated than he'd been before. 

The rest of the walk was done in silence, and Alec swiped a quick locking rune on top of the normal lock when the door closed. 

"Alright," he said, sticking his stele back in his pocket and turning around, "what's so important that you can't-" 

Jace was on him in an instant, up on his tip toes with his hands framing Alec's face and pushing their mouths together. It wasn't romantic, and it didn't feel the way Alec had thought it might. After a second, he unfroze, leaning down to kiss him back, hands going to his waist automatically. 

"We could get de-runed for this," Alec reminded him, voice rough with want. He didn't want to stop kissing Jace, he wanted to keep kissing him until he had the memory burned into his mind so he could never forget what it felt like. He wanted it buried so deep that nothing they did could get rid of it. 

"Yeah," Jace said with a chuckle, "that would suck." Then he kissed Alec again. 

It was a blur of lips and tongue and shoving jackets and gloves and shoes off, and Alec was completely onboard-- seriously, one hundred percent, this was better than he'd ever dreamed it would be. But Jace pushed him back on the bed and climbed on top of him, and Alec had to stop him with a hand on the chest. 

Jace pulled back, strings of hair, hanging down between them. His lips were red and swollen, nothing an iratze couldn't hide. By the Angel, he was gorgeous, and Alec could look at him with the thought clear on his face without being worried someone would notice. "You okay?" 

"Yeah." 

Jace started to kiss him again, and he laughed a little when Alec stopped him again. "Okay, clearly that doesn't mean everything's fine." 

"Everything  _ is _ fine," Alec said. 

"Then why are you stopping?" 

"Can we..." Alec swallowed. "Just stop here for now?" 

Jace's expression softened. "Yeah." He rolled off of Alec onto the bed beside him, and it was a bit awkward as they both caught their breath, unsure how they were supposed to act in the moment. 

"You never say what you're feeling," Alec said to the ceiling. 

"What, like you're so much better?" 

"You have a rollercoaster of emotions that you pretend you don't feel. Most of the time I'm just existing, so there's nothing to tell." 

"I'm not sure I believe that." 

"I told you I was pissed about you blowing off my advice to help Clary. That counts as telling you, you just didn't care." 

"We're still on that?" Jace asked, propping himself up on one elbow and rolling onto his side to look at Alec. 

Alec sent him a look that was more than a little frosty. "Don't think that just because we broke Clave Law together that I'm not still pissed at you." 

"You know what, you're right. You do say what you're feeling, but I always ignored it." 

"What?" Alec said in surprise. 

"Hey, I can admit when I'm wrong." 

"Since when?" 

"Since now, pay attention Alec," Jace said, playfully pushing on his shoulder. 

Alec huffed out a laugh, scrubbing his hands over his face. "We're going to get in so much trouble if we get caught." 

"'Where thou diest, will I die'," Jace quoted, tone serious even if his expression was still in good humor. "I do love you, Alec. You know why I don't say it very often, but I do." Jace's fucking father. It's a good thing he was already dead, or Alec would have tracked him down and cut him apart bit by bit. "I feel like you should be able to feel it through our bond by now." 

"I know that I'm... valuable to you." There. That accurately communicated what he knew about how Jace felt about him. 

"That makes you sound like a prized possession, not my partner." 

"Well not to put too fine a point on it, but that's kind of how you've been treating me since Clary showed up. I know that you think she's like you and that's why you're working so hard to help her, but we don't have any reason to believe her." 

"Let's pretend for a moment that she can act and fake all of the pain she's obviously feeling. Do you really think her mundane friend is that good at lying?" 

Alec snorted. He wasn't sure Simon could say water was purple if his life depended on it, and he certainly wouldn't be able to sell it as the truth. 

"Exactly. Still, I guess... I guess I've taken it a bit far," Jace reluctantly admitted. 

"Yes, you have, thank you." 

"Watch it, I'm trying to be honest and compromise so that when we leave your room you won't ignore me." 

"I can't ignore you even when I try." 

"And I'm making sure you have no reason to try. We don't tell Izzy for her own sake, and also since she'll probably figure it out on her own, and otherwise, we act like nothing's changed when we're out there." 

"Yeah." 

"Nothing except for you talking me over to your side. You're awfully persuasive when you want to be, it's a hidden talent." 

"You think I was persuasive?" Alec asked incredulously. "I didn't say anything, you felt guilty about it all on your own." 

"Minor details. Point is, even though I'm unwilling to forget about it entirely, I also don't want either of us to get de-runed. We go back to being the best Shadowhunters in the Institute, and I listen to you a little more than I have been. Easy." 

"Easy," Alec agreed. It wasn't going to be easy in the slightest, and they both knew it. But getting here hadn't felt easy, and they'd managed to do that. 


End file.
